How to begin helping someone who is struggling emotionally

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How to begin helping someone who is struggling emotionally
Illustration of an adult comforting another individual on the couch with their hand on their shoulder
Illustration of an adult comforting another individual on the couch with their hand on their shoulder

You’re likely familiar with life’s many demands, such as school, work, or relationships, and how stressful they can be. Often times, friends and family members who are experiencing mental health challenges find it difficult to ask for help during stressful times. It’s easier to support them than you might think! As an emotional support human, you may notice changes in loved ones’ behavior, but you might be unsure you’re seeing the full picture and want advice on how to begin offering support. Being supportive is easier than you think, and we’ve provided you with some tools to help you begin your emotional support human journey.  

In this post, we’ll explore what emotional support is and how you can provide support to the people you care about.

Identify someone who is struggling emotionally

To provide emotional support to someone, you might start with a gut feeling – an instinct – that something is different than usual. It’s also helpful to recognize some common warning signs. If you’re not sure what these signs may look like, don’t worry because we’ve got you covered. Some common signs of emotional struggles might be:

  • Eating or sleeping too much or too little
  • Pulling away from people and things
  • Lack of energy
  • Emotional outbursts
  • Changes in physical appearance
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Mood changes
  • Social withdrawal
  • Changes in how they respond to others (irritation, short temper, distant, difficulty focusing)
  • Changes in what they post online
  • Lack of motivation

How to provide emotional support to someone

As an emotional support human, you have a lot of options for how you provide support. Take a cue from the person you are helping.

Listen

Sometimes all the other person needs is for someone to listen to them so they feel heard. This involves actively and attentively listening to the person without any interruption. You should give the person your undivided attention, allow them to talk without any judgement, and ask questions only to clarify and better understand their experience.

Empathize and validate

Empathy goes a long way and validation goes even further. When you empathize with someone, you make it a point to understand what they’re going through, putting yourself in their shoes. Validation is also important because it shows that you accept and acknowledge their experiences.

Show love, care, and encouragement

Sometimes providing emotional support to someone can be as simple as showing them love, care, and encouragement. Showing love can be in the form of a hug (if they are ok with physical contact) or text message. Care can be as simple as asking how they are. Encouragement can be giving them positive feedback on things they’re doing well because sometimes we all just need a little reassurance.

Strategize only when asked

Caution ahead! Sometimes, strategizing with those experiencing emotional struggles can be encouraging when the person wants a soundboard about their options - for instance, if they are considering different choices for mental health care or ways to reduce their anxiety about a situation. However, be sure to only strategize when they directly ask for it. And even then, remember to do more listening than talking. When you do talk, ask powerful questions – open-ended questions – that allow your friend or family member to explore their ideas and get to their own answers. You can create a space where the other person feels comfortable talking without telling them what you think is the correct path for them.

Offer assistance or ask how you can help

When you offer assistance, it can go a long way; it shows that you care. Follow your friend or family member’s lead and allow them to express what they need. Examples of this can be driving or accompanying them to an appointment or offering to perform some of their chores/tasks. When in doubt, ask what would be supportive.

Check-in

Be sure to check in and ask or see how they are doing on a regular basis if you can. This shows that you care and can result in the person feeling comfortable to regularly open up to you. While checking in, be sure to ask open-ended questions that’ll allow them to guide the conservation.    

Providing emotional support is a way to show care and compassion to others. You can spread love, kindness, and compassion in Howard County. To learn more, check out Emotional Support Human for tips to help you support someone emotionally.

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